Movie and a little more

We went for this movie call "don't break my heart 2" just now...
I love the first movie, then when just now I realized that it was the continued episode of it... I was so glad^^ (yes, I don't know what movie was that even after we bought the ticket :-P)

Anyway, I think the movie just confirmed that, all girls will eventually follow what their heart wants... no matter how, you will still choose the one you love the most =) a little bit pity to the other good guy though, because he really did everything right... and if I was her, there is a high possibility that I will choose the March guy than the playboy.... every girls like romantic guys but if I were to spend the rest of my life with someone, I think the guy that I know will treat me nice and love me forever is the guy I will go for...

Well... today I had a great day with L and I know a little more about him... and I want to know more too... I wonder if I am the only one who wants to know more though... fingers cross... but so far so good =)

Technical, lovey dovey

Hanging out don't feel like hanging out with L... we go out see friends and it felt like every "friend" got their own agenda and own role... the only person that I am remotely sincere in talking to is a girl that doesn't talk business... I was so glad to know someone that doesn't talk intelligent =)

I like the fact that L is fighting for his career and meeting with ppl that is important, doing things that are going to change his future... I really like those qualities about him...  most of all, he will come to see me, and misses me, and that make a world stop spinning... it's soothing and comfortable conversation with him sometimes make me feel like I am having a debate or taking an exam... because everything is so technical so stiff and realistic...

I am just a girl that is here to find true love... who still believe in fairy tales... I always remember that being in a relationship should be lovely, sweet and warm... I never relate it to anything this structural before and also so... systematical... I guess sometimes guys forgot that choosing a topic that will interest a girl is really a thing...

I think anything is more fun than talking about business for now... even watching my two fat hamsters running on the wheel excites me more than the topic of business...

Other than that, L doesn't seem to understand why I wanted to know about his ex, because it was part of his life and when he talks about it... I can still hear the effects on him... I can hear and see that she meant something important to him once... maybe not now, but she was somebody to him before, it gonna mean something... and if he doesn't want to talk about her, maybe he is not that over her either...

Raison d'être

Raison d'être means the reason of existence, it is also a phrase that was said to me just now^^

Haha... I am so melted right now, originally I though wanting to see him and missing him is bad... but talking to him made me realized that I am not alone in this... and I am allow to do so =) I am not a secret and I truly have him...
My fear of commitment is lifted from me^^

All I needed was for him to show me that I am not someone extra... and I am important to him too =)
I was feeling agitated because I miss him a lot... and I am so relieve to know that he feels the same too~ ^^
I AM NOT ALONE!!! XD

I am now ready to quite playing around and really plan on that online business thing... because I think it's time for me to plan... and really do what I think =)
And L Is a great source of motivation... no more sales job for me... time to pick up some pace!!! XP

Past is the past

I have made my past as a past, but I am still a good person... because turning my back and walking away from another person just isn't my style... it's just not my core...

If today my decision of having a life is wrong... then so be it... because I found that person who I can give all my heart to and also gave his all to me...
I am very satisfied with who I have chosen because I genuinely think that this man is the man who I can spend the rest of my life with and I really do love him...

I try my best to be a good person... I am a human, I don't just stop loving another person when I leave them... so no matter what happened... I will still care... eventually I will still give in my best care and best support that I can...

But for me to help you... you must first help yourself... I have done and said all that I can... so all that's left is to wait... I wish that someday, you will see what I have done for you and stand back up... hoping that the people I placed beside you can help guide you back on the right tract too...

Summary of the day is, I will always care and I will always be there to help out for as much as I could... I do know that it might not be fair for L... but if he truly knows me, then he will see that me trying to help and loving him has no contradictions at all...

I believe that I am doing the right thing, and I believe that someday... L can see that he choose the right person because he had choose one that still understand the meaning of compassion...

Future~^^

Today is a long day, I was in 3 different state, kampar then KL then johor... but somehow I don't feel tired, probably due to having things to do... Haha

I was enjoying my stay in kampar with L, then I was enjoying my time with T, my best friend^^ and now I am enjoying listening to this story of this tb, S...

I kinda miss L from the moment I step away from him... and he reminds me of that little girl I used to be when I was 16 years old, I just enjoy being around him and I can actually see a future with him =)
S reminds me of how I was when I was 16 as well and I like to listen to her stories, haha... she reminds me of the time where I was choosing partners, following feelings and being reckless, I was feeling a little bit old but also felt like a grown up because what she experiencing now is what I experienced b4... Haha

I am seeing a future where I will put my effort in nurturing children, enjoying a simple house with my own design... and my home is where my family is, a family that me and my man built^^

Haha... I am probably thinking a little far, but I do know what kind of future I would want, and this man is capable of making me see it clearer...

Thank you Lord for giving me the chance to see clearer, and when I have kids, I will want them to know you so that they will have a clear and kind path^^

Moment :-)

There are things I am very confuse about will emerge out of nowhere from time to time... And I seem to be encountering one particularly confusing issue here~

I believe that if you are in love with a person... it happens in a moment... a moment that makes everything you see about him became magical... good... And makes you feel absolutely vulnerable but you don't care...

I was asked something yesterday and it's a question that I was expecting but with no answer still... if I were to jump again... I need to be sure... jumping into the valley of love is not exactly easy for me anymore but I do believe that there will have this moment where I just know that I love him...

L is a great guy with so much potential and fire in him... his passion in work and determination for success is what made him so attractive to me but also because of this... sense of security with him is unstable... probably have something to do with his financial stability or something like that... But apart from this... I feel more positivity and more alive when I am with him... maybe I just need to see him and really let him pampered me to have that moment...

P.S. When a moment like that comes, I won't be hesitate to show it =)

Start over~

For those who knows me, it is evidence that my love life is a mess~ haha 😅

Well... I decided to kept on trying though~ and this time, he is L... The initial happens to be one of my favourite character as well from death note... haha~ 😄

I always knew that I am not the girl that any guy can accept 😧 but just like any other girls, we don't really know what we want until we met what we don't want... haha~ so here goes~

1. I like public display of affection~
2. I like calm and logic guys~
3. I like guys that dare to have me beside him all the time, not literary,  just my name on key chains,  my identity infront of friends~^^
4. I love couple shirts and I like necklace that have initials of both of us~
5. Birthday and valentine day is important, at least have to remember and let me see that you care~
6. I like suprise gift, especially those that are custom made or hand made because to me, it says you are my one and only~
7. I like to know what you are doing. .. so a simple message will do^^ I am not that clingy so I really don't need to meet all the time^^