Cancer and lost game of lee zhong wei on national day~

I have no idea which is more depressing~ = ( The fact that Datuk Lee lost this badminton match on national day which make a lot of my coleagues lost their whole month salary... Some even lost everything!!! OR the fact that I just found out one of my friend, B, got throat cancer and is coughing blood constantly~ ><

What is wrong with today?!?!?! X(
I hate gamblers that have no sense of control!!! Why can't they just use their brain and do something useful with their money or simply just save it up?!?!?!

However, now that I think about it... I got my answer, cancer is more depressing... T-T
I have absolutely zero clue on what to say then I can't tell anyone else =_= I wish I could just shout at my friends and said... HE IS DYING!!! PLS SOMEBODY HELP HIM!!!

"L, you can't just walk towards B and care about him and suddenly become brothers to him after knowing him for a month~"
I can't even tell L that because he was just being nice and trying to show that he cares, but from the same action,  I think he is killing B faster than the cancer~ ><

I am feeling absolutely useless and guilty  right now and again.... I do feel like if I have more guts in me to say what's on my mind.. my life will be so much easier~ = (
If you are there GOD,  please guide me!!!

Graduation~

Well... last week I had my graduation, I was happy about the fact that I never have to go back utar again... haha~ so I guess taking Master in the near future is out of the question~ XP
During my graduation... Some friends travel from another states just to see me~ I am very very grateful and hope that someday, I can find someone worthy enough for me to do the same~ =)As for love life, I found out that being single is not a problem but staying as one is, I can't seem to stay single long enough to see a clear picture, so basically I am giving them a probation period~ Hoping that one of them may actually pass with a distinction or get terminated~ (obviously I am very rusty in dating and also very tired of it) ><

Well... no pain no gain so... go train some 6 packs or improve some English skills or maybe increase some income~ whichever you think is going to catch my attention,  do it~~ ^^

Favourite coleague^^

I like one of my coleagues a lot~ She is not the easy to know type but once you get to know her, she is the type of friend that you are glad to have =)

Hehe,  she doesn't show that she cares... but she will help when you needed it and when she jokes,  she is very serious.... hahahaha XD and when she smiles, she is actually very beautiful,  just that she doesn't do that often and give ppl a very ice cold feel~ ><
Sometimes I feel like her straightforward personality is what got her into trouble~ but it is also because of this personality, I find her very special~

Just now we went out to eat and she told me quite a lot of things, for the first time in this company,  I actually feel like this is what I should know and what I should feel when talking to a coleague =D

I wish that I can be friends with her instead of just coleagues, but then again,  I think we are already friends^^

Observe and see~

Yesterday I notice that I have a weird interest in looking at guys moving stuff here and there~ haha~ Probably have something to do with the word "macho"^^ I guess in my mind, I always have this idea of guys should be macho and doing things that requires streghth or power~ XP

There are 4 new known guys from work and they are good ppl^^ And one of them is especially nice and he makes me feel like I belong again =D The simple gesture (as he said) of bringing me out to lunch and meet with his friends is heart warming =) I feel so secure and relax ^_^Y
As I said, all I need was just gangs of friends whom I can relate to =)

I got myself sorted out but my lady boss seems to be pretty mess up though~ ><
She was crying in the car and talking to jesus~ If you exist father, I am praying that you help this woman because she really truly believe in you~
I notice that the reason she hang out with a terrible friend is because she doesn't have anyone else to go to, and this makes me realized the reason why terrible ppl also have friends~ Just because their friends have no choice~ =_=lll

Lying to myself~

Today is just like every other day, there are some crazy customers then some stupid ppl coming around and talk crap~ and a friend came by just for me to find him annoyingly boring and ridiculously no topic~ >< I guess some ppl are better when they are typing =_=lll
Then I got praise by a coleague saying that I look beautiful, and everything was good^^

However, here comes the problem, THIS IS ALL A LIE~     I never wanted ppl come finding me alone... because it's very tired to kept thinking what to say and I hate it especially when it is a guy, because it feels like I am being evaluated from every expression I make and every word I say~

And I am a 24 years old girl, why would I feel happy about being find attractive by a 48 years old single uncle? And what the hell am I suppose to feel when I am hanging out with bitches and old ppl all day long with the topic of furnitures?
I hate my life because I dont have a gang of friends that can mingle... why do you guys always have to meet me alone?!?!?!

I DON'T WANT TO GO THROUGH YOUR EXAM!!!! And I hate myself for not having friends that actually notice that staying home apart from working is NOT A LIFE!!!!! WHY CANT YOU ALL HANG OUT AND INTRODICE ME TO PPL THAT IS NOT TWICE MY AGE?!?!?!? SERIOUSLY, HOW HARD COULD IT BE TO JUST FIND FRIENDS THAT I CAN HAVE BEER WITH!!!!

Simple happiness~

I guess we couldn't always have everything we wanted,  but most of the time it turns out that when we are focusing all our attention on the bad things we have to face or the goal we wanted to achive... we forgot about those simple happiness~^^

Today a customer uses "bubbly" to describe me and added my wechat just to keep in touch with me.... haha... I know that it's like making a new friend... but this man makes me feel like... sometimes when I am working, I am still treated and seen as me than just someone who is selling them stuff~ =D I even get to enjoy a traditional intrument performance later on which I find extremely soothing to listen to^^

Then when it's time to go home, I was so grateful to have a new coleague that is willing to fetch me and he came with an old colleague whom I always think as a wonderful person^^ well~ you know what they say, happiness comes when it is least expected^^

And Rendang chicken was cooked, hehe~ WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD!!!^^
Great food with wonderful ppl follow by warm bath and now cold air con, I think I am doing pretty good, hehe^^

Mcd~^^

Everytime I am sad or unhappy~ Mcd seems to be my easiest and greatest solution ^^
I often think that food are kinda mesmerising object that can tranform negative into positive~ Just so happen that my happy food is from Mcd. .. haha

Nothing a little fries and mcflurry orea can't solve... hehe~ May tomorrow be a better day^^ FIGHTING!!! =D