Next week, next time

The phrase "next week" never gave me a good impression... so does the phrase "next time"

Because they never happen, because when there is no definite time or date... normally it means that there wasn't a time that this answer was actually consider in details~~

When I was a kid, I ask, when is dad coming back? Next week...
But most of the time, it's just a phrase (no big deal now) and I learn not to ask, and learn not to put in hope... because nobody likes disappointment...

A heart can only get disappointed so many times until it learns not to put in any hope at first~ I had learn how to comprehend so please don't make me empty promises and make me hate you... because if you really do care, you will know that it's a form of lying to me... I have grew up knowing when to stop trusting someone, unfortunately nobody is exempted yet...

I understand that ppl say a lot of beautiful words everyday, and I enjoy those words, but to gain my trust, it's certainly not an easy task especially if you are someone who never think that lying is a big deal...

Lying to myself~

Today is just like every other day, there are some crazy customers then some stupid ppl coming around and talk crap~ and a friend came by just for me to find him annoyingly boring and ridiculously no topic~ >< I guess some ppl are better when they are typing =_=lll
Then I got praise by a coleague saying that I look beautiful, and everything was good^^

However, here comes the problem, THIS IS ALL A LIE~     I never wanted ppl come finding me alone... because it's very tired to kept thinking what to say and I hate it especially when it is a guy, because it feels like I am being evaluated from every expression I make and every word I say~

And I am a 24 years old girl, why would I feel happy about being find attractive by a 48 years old single uncle? And what the hell am I suppose to feel when I am hanging out with bitches and old ppl all day long with the topic of furnitures?
I hate my life because I dont have a gang of friends that can mingle... why do you guys always have to meet me alone?!?!?!

I DON'T WANT TO GO THROUGH YOUR EXAM!!!! And I hate myself for not having friends that actually notice that staying home apart from working is NOT A LIFE!!!!! WHY CANT YOU ALL HANG OUT AND INTRODICE ME TO PPL THAT IS NOT TWICE MY AGE?!?!?!? SERIOUSLY, HOW HARD COULD IT BE TO JUST FIND FRIENDS THAT I CAN HAVE BEER WITH!!!!