Scare~ seriously~

Today was a great day, I spend yesterday and today mostly with him =) however, I guess I was thinking a bit too easy on the whole situation...

The reason why I won't let myself believe in love at one point of my life is because it's scary, not scare of being hurt, if that's was the case, it would be easier to settle... but... the issue here is, it scares me to think what if that person don't like the whole me... what if he doesn't like my whole package... what if he found out that I am not good enough?

I am very scare when ppl tell me that they hear stuff about me... or tell me that a lot of ppl talks about you... because who are those a lot of ppl are? What do they know about me to actually even have a saying in my life? My style? I seriously hate it when ppl tells me they know ppl that knows me... because when they say that... they didn't even understand the meaning of "know you" yet...

L was chosen by me because he has the potential to see things clearly, and understand what it means to focus on here and now... however, that's just how I saw him... just now inside the car, we were having this conversation and I feel like he doesn't trust me... he says he does, but his words tells me other wise... and if he really trust me, I shouldn't need to explain to him about those "a lot of ppl"

I don't explain stuff because I knew that when I explain, I also lost faith in you... due to the fact that I still need to explain...